via Poppytalk

Earlier this spring, i recalled a short-lived attempt at eating only raw food a couple of summers ago. i think it lasted a week, or maybe two. Nevertheless, i do remember it being a very sunshiney, energy-filled time.  Yeah, i know…the sunshine was circumstantial and probably not the universe concurring with my bright and shiny hopes, but i’ll take what i can
The memories of feeling fresh and energetic, however, were just enough to convince me of trying out this seemingly crazy way of eating. i mean, i live in Cowtown. This is meat and potato country. There are virtually 9 months of winter. Oh wait – maybe that was one more reason to do this. Veggies are crazy expensive here during the year. Even in the summer, produce prices are sometimes quite silly (i saw a bag of 6 apples the other day for $5. Seriously).   So, while the going is mostly good, i’m giving it a shot.
For the months of July and August, i’m doing my best to eat only raw food. i’m hoping that along the way, i learn more about flavours, textures, ways of preparing things, observing how i feel physically, being aware of what avoiding cooked food does for my mental/emotional/social life, and any other ins and outs of raw foodism.

Caveats:
i’m not going to even attempt to go 100% raw all summer…i don’t have a dehydrator of my own, or a juicer, or a mandolin slicer, or any of the supposedly essential items in a raw foodists kitchen, but i’m going to try for a solid 80%.  i’m not cutting out coffee: a girl has got to have her vices. Sundays are my free day, meaning that when my crew of church friends heads for the weekly night out at the pub, i’m going to enjoy my pint and yam fries along with them. i’m going to try to not get in other people’s way, meaning that if i’m invited somewhere and it isn’t appropriate for me to avoid the cooked food offered, i’ll make up for it later. Oh – and i’m probably going to eat more meat, in the way of dried bison jerky, because with my work schedule, i just can’t be sprouting things all the time, and i’m pretty sure i’m not going to make it on carrots and banana smoothies.

It’s been interesting so far. June was my transition month, when i tried some new food prep techniques in an effort to be more ready to run with this for the summer, so i’ve been eating mostly raw for almost a month now. Mostly, i feel surprised – both by the food and by this experience. i’ve never made a soup i didn’t like so much i had to throw it away. This happened last week. i’ve always been a bit of a food sneak – dipping into little bits of this or that when no one is looking…but now i fight the urge to justify ‘just a little bit’ ALL THE TIME.  i get angry sometimes when i’m trying to choose what to eat, and i have to deal with that. It’s an inward journey of lessons as much as it is an outward one, and one i hope that i’m getting better at!

(Thirty)x30

It’s coming up…my last year of 20-somethingdom. Yikes. i don’t quite feel ready to join the 30-somethings, so i’m going to do my best to make this next year fully worth being the feather in the last decade’s cap.
And, the last decade has been good. Very good. i’ve loved, i’ve cried, i’ve moved, i’ve traveled….i began my career with youth by hopping on a Greyhound bus for California, i signed on as the 12th Art major at TWU, fought it out on rugby fields, i’ve loved my family, i’ve walked the halls of a post-soviet concrete dormitory and scrambled to keep up with Russian conversation, i learned how to 2-step and ride a mechanical bull in Germany with US soldiers, i’ve spent more nights than i can count in my tent, fed beautiful tired dirty happy treeplanters, spent 12 days on my own in northern BC, i’ve knitted and cooked and beachcombed and dreaded hair with the bestest of friends, i’ve hated and in time learned to love living in Calgary, paddled rivers, sold paintings, bought a house . . . . . .

i’ve loved life,
and there’s so much more.

The (Thirty)x30 list is all about being intentional towards making the absolute most of a year. It’s about skills and lessons and experiences and growth. It’s about fun. It will be moderated by a modest budget – so there will be no ’round the world travels, or lavish purchases. It will be blogged.

So far on the list:

- hangliding or parasailing
- skiing Delirium Dive at Sunshine Mtn
- reading 10 really good, significant books
- make a perfect souffle
- land a major sale of a painting
- knit a pair of socks
- …?

i will definitely be taking suggestions.  Suggestions involving high levels of improbability, ie. me learning to slam dunk a basketball, will not be considered for inclusion on the list. But don’t let this stop you – no, quite the contrary. i’d love to hear what you think i should do.

And, stay posted!

Okay, so Basia Bulat is from Ontario, not BC, and i doubt i can really hope for a gypsy faire any time soon, but she IS playing a huge tour across Canada and the States over the next couple months, including both Calgary and Vancouver.  Her small band is rich and folksy, with a violin, cello, and mandolin creating delightful soundscapes. AND, this girl plays the autoharp. Hello, girl crush!
Catch her at Central United Church in Calgary on Mar 2, or  St James Hall in Vancouver on Mar 5!

i haven’t had photoshop in ages, and i miss the ability to mash up the tons of images that i collect when blog surfing.  i haven’t figured out how to access the interior design section of the site, but boy-oh-boy am i looking forward to figuring it out!

In the meantime, i had some fun with the fashion stock photography:



First place winner in the Inside Vancouver Online Video Contest

And then i feel the redness on my face after only a half glass of wine and realize that really, all i want to do is crawl into bed.  This is ridiculous, i think to myself. My hand has healed up. i have a car back.  i am full of inspiration after catching up on several hundred design blog entries on my rss feed, and i am full and happy with my homemade chipotle yam fry and fresh salsa supper.
In short, life feels good. And, it feels as if it’s passing me by like a film reel on my wall. Bits of life showing up in high-def colour, slipping and twisting just out of grasp, delighting and entertaining, but never quite connecting.

i’ve been through burnout before, and it’s not pretty. This time, i can see it coming, but it’s funny, because i had thought that i would know how to prevent it sneaking up again.  This time, i know what i would like to have happen, i just don’t know how to make it happen.  It’s so funny, because i keep looking at people who get so much done in life and this world, and i wonder how they do it.  i’m scrambling to not get behind at work, to keep drawing and painting as much as possible so that i can start selling pieces, to do the necessary work on my house…. and if i can really keep it together, start working towards some career development/transition/change.

i wish i knew more answers, more routes to take towards dreams and hopes and plans and all those things that keep me living for a life well done.  But wishing doesn’t get things any closer, that much i know.  Which brings me right around to, i have an evening at home….

My cup runneth over,
and surely goodness will follow,
but i can’t hold this and drink this and
be of this water, holding it in my own two hands
My cup runneth over,
and i set it down,
Down, to the ground
where i can lean into this outpouring
and soak every parched cell of my being.
Set it down,
bless this ground,
wrap this muddy grace around
and call this home
awhile

- 1 car wreck
- 3 weeks without wheels
- 1 stabbed hand
- 8 infected stitches
- 1 sad breakup
- 4 demoralizing nightshifts
- more chaos than i care to remember at work
- 1 (potentially failed) interview
- 1 plumber who cancelled 5 minutes before scheduled appt., on the last day i could get work done before leaving town
- 1 spontaneously exploding rear car window, 21 hours after i got my car back from the shop.

i’m so done with you.
And just to rub it in, i hear February is the Queen of Hearts. Seriously lovey-dovey, right down to her core.

Yeah, rebound, here i come

[some borrowed thoughts from e.b. white, jessamyn west, cicero, and bertrand russell, in a sense]